Facebook Displays of Affection or FDA’s…

Oh My God! Seriously, how much more can I take? Are some people just that much in shock that someone loves them that they have to display their affection in public? Must they swap spit at the zoo? Is it necessary to grab each others’ asses in line at the theater? Do they really have to cuddle on one side of a booth that is clearly only made for one person? I don’t think so. But you know what? I can deal with the physical stuff these people do because I am sure it’s fleeting and meaningless. But there is another type of Public Display of Affection (PDA) that bothers me far more because it is an obvious attempt to tell people that they are “loved.” They are clearly overcompensating for a lack of inner-strength and security. And they are trying to assert themselves, whilst trying to make me puke. What is it that these people are doing? They are putting up Facebook statuses about how much they “love” their hubbies/BF’s/fiances/partners or whatever, they are putting up mobile pics of them, changing their FB last names to the last name of this significant other before they are even married, and tagging ME in a picture of THEM, just to make sure I see it. You know in case I miss it. I call this phenomenon “FDAing,” which stands for Facebook Displays of Affection.

Ok so I know I sound bitter or jealous or jaded or cynical or whatever these “in love” people want to call me. But the truth of the matter is that I am NOT any of those things. I am just a simple human being trying to keep my freakin’ lunch down while surfing Facebook. What I DON’T need is 16 statuses by you that tags your significant other saying that you love him. Seriously, can’t you just text him privately? I DON’T need a tweet about how much you miss your husband or boyfriend when he goes out-of-town. I DON’T need a stenciled drawing of you and your boyfriend’s names in a heart. I REALLY don’t need a picture of you kissing him with a caption that says “I just <3 him.” In fact, not only do I not need these things, NO ONE does. I know we all seem like we think it’s cute or whatever that you are so open about how you feel, but we don’t. We think your shameless display of puke-worthy affection is just sad.

Man I sound mean. I just realized that. But you know what? Someone needs to speak the truth. Especially when these individuals begin to see that relationships are hard and not all fun and games. And the sadder part is, many of these people already know that, but they don’t want anyone else to know that they know that, so they overdo the lovey dovey crap to make you think that they are living in a fantasy world. But, uhm, yeah no one believes it. So try the following instead:

DON”T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL … What I mean is, if you don’t status the good OR the bad, then no one will think anything GOOD or BAD about you. I know this is a big shocker, but people aren’t thinking about you day and night. It isn’t until you give them a reason to think about you that they do. And when they see that you need to publicize every time you and your husband go out for dinner or he gets you flowers or buys you a birthday present, that is when they will start to think that you must be incredibly unhappy that you find every act of generosity (or peacemaking) on his part to be a big deal. It looks like you are trying to prove something. And that is just truly pathetic.

I know I just made a lot of enemies. Think what you will about me and my opinion but I guarantee you that I am not alone in thinking this; I’m just the only one willing to say anything.

~~Leen J.

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My First Live Show!!!

Hi everyone! Check out the  video of my first live guitar performance with vocals! I performed a cover of “The First Cut is the Deepest” (Sheryl Crow version) written and originally performed by Cat Stevens. This song holds personal feelings for me. It’s just a very true song that I believe anyone can relate to :)

My video was taken on December 8, 2010, in Palos Hills, Illinois.

Your feedback is welcomed!

Thanks for watching! 

~~Leen J.

A Rhyme, For You

A Rhyme, For You – A Poem Written March 15, 2011, by Leen Jaber

I still feel like it’s my fault
The verbal assault
My memories in a vault
Tucked away in my mind
A place you can never find
To erase
Your disgrace
Or your face
Or the ant and rat-filled place
You made me live
Where I learned how to give
And never receive
My life unretrieved
My heart never sealed
Layer by layer pealed
Not one vein healed

A love without condition
And not one suspicion
Never mind my predisposition
Or my family’s tradition
But, that could never be
And of your prison I can’t be free
Your weathered hand upon my head
Sleeping in another bed
Your insults heavy like lead
A necessary punishment, you said
A natural consequence
Your voice still makes me tense
Telling you how I feel makes no sense
Aaah, but your MP3’s
More important than my tears
No matter how many beers
My hair pulled out in strands
Making fun of my favorite bands
How much more could I stand?
The holiday you wouldn’t let me celebrate
The clumsy me you’d berate
A sad seal of my fate
Your eyes filled with hate
But yet later filled with remorse
Your anger not finding its source
The wailing making my voice hoarse
And the damning e-mails
And of course your self-pitying tales
God, it never fails
All the cowardly excuses
Hiding all my bruises
All the religious abuses
But you’re the victim, and yet everyone else around you loses

So here’s to the memories that won’t die
Our snapshots in time
With no reason or rhyme

But, hey, I’ll be fine!

My Patience

My Patience – A Poem Written December 23, 2009, by Leen Jaber

I know you.
I know you from the inside.
You know me from the inside.
You’re magnificent.

You’re kind and patient.
Your touch inspires me.
Your love welcomes me.
It humbles me.

You deserve me.
I didn’t think I deserved you.
But I do. I really do.

You’re not a catalyst for negative change.
You’re not mean.
You’re not abusive.
You don’t refuse me.
You embrace me with mercy and comfort.

You’ve given me everything I’ve ever asked for, and more.
And, God, your kisses.
Your kisses take me to places that rival heaven.

I bore you two children.
And you cure my boredom.
You’re so gentle with your words, with your stare.
You made me forget the monster who changed my hope to gloom
And my innocence into something even Satan shies away from.

I found true happiness in your vows.
In your bed.
In your prayers.

When you trace your finger down my shoulder,
You speak to me without a word.
And I speak back.
And you understand.
Every whisper.
Every mumble.
Every clumsy thought.

I have no fear of the future without you.
You would die for me.
And I’d for you.

You don’t condescend my abilities.
You don’t push me away.
You respond to my requests.
You take care of me.

A four letter word could never describe how you feel about me.
“LOVE” is for children, not for us.
What we have is too rare to have ever been given a name.
No one but us has ever felt it.

You can take me anywhere.
You can lay next to me for all eternity.
And then teach me that tears aren’t only for crying.
I’ve been christened in your glow,
And have been reborn into a world that isn’t bad.

Thank you my love.
Thank you God for bringing my protector to me.
The 12 hours that has passed since I’ve seen him,
Haven’t allowed me to lose the impact of his warmth.
He’s the reality that will eventually perpetuate itself into my world.
That day is why I’m patient.

And God is with those who are patient.