A Cold Housewarming

It’s been two weeks since I’ve moved into my new place. It’s great. It’s over 1100 square feet, AC, and the best roommate I could ever ask for, my sister :) And, to help cozy up the place, my sister and I threw a small party at our place a few nights ago. We might have invited 20 people, and about half showed up. All of them were my sister’s guests, with exception to one. I had one guest show up. Well, unless you include my older sister who technically is both our guest. So, yeah I only had one show up.

I know this isn’t a reflection of me or the wonderful person I am :) But it is a reflection of how selfish people really are. SOME of them, JUST some have plausible and legitimate excuses (of course those are the ones who actually provided excuses). Some of them do make a sincere effort to come to things they are invited to. And if this is the one event they couldn’t come to, I totally understand. And I think those wonderful people know who they are. But in most cases, the excuses people provide are just that, excuses. I think it’s really sad when people use their kids, their husbands, or distance to cover up the real reasons they “can’t” come to your party….they really just don’t care enough.

Yeah well these individuals would argue that saying the above statement is unfair or just not true. But the truth of the matter is, if they really were interested in coming, they would show it. they would make an effort, at least. You know what kills me? I don’t drive. In fact, I CAN’T drive. But no matter what, I always make an effort to attend parties, go to meetings, be there at people’s weddings, etc. I don’t flake out just because “I’m too scared to drive on the highway,” or “because you live too far,” or “because I have the sniffles,” or “because I don’t like the other people you invited.” And what’s even worse are the people who don’t even respond to your invitation as if they are too busy to give a damn.

Man, if you even knew the parties I attended when I was sick or when I needed to study for an exam or lived an hour away and needed to take 2 busses and a train to get there or when I was freshly divorced and frankly DIDN’T want to go to any stupid celebration. But the thing is, people don’t try to even understand your valid reasons nor do they understand your sacrifice to support them. But I guess this is something I learned in my 20’s.

So to those who use everything under the sun to explain away why you can’t be there for me: I don’t care. I reject your “reason.’ Oh and don’t be surprised when I don’t show up to your next shin dig or whatever. I’m not angry or unmerciful. I love these people and always will, but I am just going to start getting my priorities straight. That’s all.

Ok, great. Thanks.

~~Leen J.


Gap Girl

Gap Girl –A Poem Written February 9, 2000, by Leen Jaber

She twists and turns in her own tangled web,
Those who think they love her cannot help.

She frowns when things fail to go her way,
She prays that things’ll change the next day.

Everything to her must always stay silent,
It is always cold within her personalized climate.

She aches and moans from her own pain,
Does she really care that we are all the same?

She claims to love, but I’m not sure if that is so,
Inside her being and heart, I’ll never know.

She does not care much for what others feel,
She doesn’t even attempt to help them heal.

Blue jeans, Gap shirt, and all her ignorance,
She uses her friends as a type of insurance.

Does she not know that we all care?
She thinks those who pretend are those with whom she shall share.

Alas, I am one of the only real companions she has in this world,
Alas, I am a friend to the one, the only – real life Gap Girl.