Oh My God! Seriously, how much more can I take? Are some people just that much in shock that someone loves them that they have to display their affection in public? Must they swap spit at the zoo? Is it necessary to grab each others’ asses in line at the theater? Do they really have to cuddle on one side of a booth that is clearly only made for one person? I don’t think so. But you know what? I can deal with the physical stuff these people do because I am sure it’s fleeting and meaningless. But there is another type of Public Display of Affection (PDA) that bothers me far more because it is an obvious attempt to tell people that they are “loved.” They are clearly overcompensating for a lack of inner-strength and security. And they are trying to assert themselves, whilst trying to make me puke. What is it that these people are doing? They are putting up Facebook statuses about how much they “love” their hubbies/BF’s/fiances/partners or whatever, they are putting up mobile pics of them, changing their FB last names to the last name of this significant other before they are even married, and tagging ME in a picture of THEM, just to make sure I see it. You know in case I miss it. I call this phenomenon “FDAing,” which stands for Facebook Displays of Affection.
Ok so I know I sound bitter or jealous or jaded or cynical or whatever these “in love” people want to call me. But the truth of the matter is that I am NOT any of those things. I am just a simple human being trying to keep my freakin’ lunch down while surfing Facebook. What I DON’T need is 16 statuses by you that tags your significant other saying that you love him. Seriously, can’t you just text him privately? I DON’T need a tweet about how much you miss your husband or boyfriend when he goes out-of-town. I DON’T need a stenciled drawing of you and your boyfriend’s names in a heart. I REALLY don’t need a picture of you kissing him with a caption that says “I just <3 him.” In fact, not only do I not need these things, NO ONE does. I know we all seem like we think it’s cute or whatever that you are so open about how you feel, but we don’t. We think your shameless display of puke-worthy affection is just sad.
Man I sound mean. I just realized that. But you know what? Someone needs to speak the truth. Especially when these individuals begin to see that relationships are hard and not all fun and games. And the sadder part is, many of these people already know that, but they don’t want anyone else to know that they know that, so they overdo the lovey dovey crap to make you think that they are living in a fantasy world. But, uhm, yeah no one believes it. So try the following instead:
DON”T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL … What I mean is, if you don’t status the good OR the bad, then no one will think anything GOOD or BAD about you. I know this is a big shocker, but people aren’t thinking about you day and night. It isn’t until you give them a reason to think about you that they do. And when they see that you need to publicize every time you and your husband go out for dinner or he gets you flowers or buys you a birthday present, that is when they will start to think that you must be incredibly unhappy that you find every act of generosity (or peacemaking) on his part to be a big deal. It looks like you are trying to prove something. And that is just truly pathetic.
I know I just made a lot of enemies. Think what you will about me and my opinion but I guarantee you that I am not alone in thinking this; I’m just the only one willing to say anything.